I discovered not long ago that virginity was a myth. It is not a casual or innocent myth.
Porn is the first point of information for teenagers to learn about sex. Mostly mainstream phallocentric sex.
Sex as sin. Sex as honour. Lack of sex as portrayal of self-respect “nobody will buy the van if you give ice cream for free”. Sex to avoid awkwardness, because it feels owed, because is expected. “She needs a good fuck”. “I never do this”. She is a slut. She is a prude. She is a teaser.
Sex has a massive role in our patriarchal culture. If there is something where the differences in society regarding genders are undeniable it is in the social conception of sex.
Here is the point where somebody interrupts and says, “but we are different, biologically different”,and I will agree to a certain point. Men have more libido for natural reasons and women are more vulnerable sexually because they are the ones that get pregnant. But that is it. Animals don´t vote, don´t go to school, don´t build rockets to go to the moon, don´t read and don´t write; we have surpassed in so many levels our animal instincts that it is time to let go of that excuse in this area too.
Toxic masculinity dictates that men are expected to be ‘players’. Women are supposed to get judged in terms of difficulty to have sex with. The more difficult, the more worthy. Sex is a prize woman have reserved for the men that go through the hassle of putting up with them in a relationship. You want sex, earn it. Pay the dinner, date me 3 times, put a ring on it.
Women should not be passive subjects of sex. It is important to enjoy the pleasure, to want it, to make a choice regarding what, when, and how always understanding that is not link to your self-worth but to your personal preferences. And the ONLY rule that applies is consent.
Repeat with me. The only rule that applies (and it must apply at all times) is consent.