We talk a lot about how patriarchy harms women—and rightly so, I will keep doing it until my last breath. But in order to dismantle the systems that uphold inequality, we also need to talk about how patriarchy harms men. Not in a “what about the men?” way that derails feminist conversations, but in a grounded, honest, and empathetic way that recognises this: feminism is for everyone, and that includes men.

Patriarchy might position men at the top of the hierarchy, but it is not a free gift. It limits who they’re allowed to be. It tells them strength matters more than sensitivity, that success should come before self-awareness, that being soft is shameful, and that care is something to be earned, not expressed. It robs them of emotional depth, safe vulnerability, and full humanity. It push them away from everything that we have been told that belongs to womanhood. 

That isn’t freedom. That’s a performance.

It’s Not About Erasing Masculinity

Let’s get one thing straight: masculinity isn’t inherently toxic. What’s toxic is the version of masculinity that’s shaped by fear, control, and domination—the one that’s been modelled for generations under patriarchal rule.

Feminism doesn’t want to strip men of their identity. It wants to expand it. It wants to make room for men to explore who they are outside the rigid templates they’ve inherited. It offers the space to be caring, self-reflective, emotionally literate, and accountable—not just tolerated in those things, but celebrated for them.

We’re not asking men to be less—we’re asking them to be more. More connected. More curious. More compassionate.

And we are asking men to make this job their job. The best way for a men to show up as feminist is by focusing on the healing and expansion of what being a man means today. 

A Different Kind of Strength

One of the most radical things a man can do in a patriarchal world is care—genuinely and unapologetically. Not the kind of care that’s performative or conditional, but the real kind that listens, learns, and shows up. The kind that isn’t afraid to say “I was wrong” or “I don’t know.”

Reclaiming masculinity through care, justice, and empathy isn't a step back from strength—it’s a deeper, more meaningful version of it. It's strength that holds space. Strength that nurtures. Strength that challenges systems, not just people.

Feminism doesn’t see men as the enemy. It sees the system as the problem—and it welcomes everyone who wants to be part of the solution. It is aware that only with everyone on board we will get where we need to. 

Calling Men In

We don’t just need to call men out when harm happens—we need to call them in. Into the conversation, into the discomfort, into the possibility of change.

That doesn't mean ignoring accountability. It means recognising that people are capable of growth, and that transformation isn’t just possible—it’s necessary. It means offering men a path to show up differently, not perfectly.

Most men have inherited the rules of patriarchy without ever choosing them. But they do get to choose what they do next. That choice is where their power lies—not in dominance, but in action. Not in being loud, but in listening. Not in saving anyone, but in standing beside them.

A Collective Future

Feminism is not a women’s club with a no-boys-allowed sign on the door. It’s a call for something better—for all of us. It's about rewriting the script we’ve all been handed and co-creating a story that’s rooted in equality, dignity, and humanity.

Talking about masculinity within feminism doesn’t water the movement down. It enriches it. It recognises that liberation can’t be one-sided, and that the weight of patriarchy doesn’t just fall on those it oppresses most obviously—it touches everyone.

So let’s have the uncomfortable conversations. Let’s make space for nuance. Let’s raise boys who don’t have to unlearn love or strength or softness. Let’s invite men in—not to centre themselves, but to join us in doing the work.

Because none of us are free until all of us are.