“Ask your dad.”
A phrase not heard nearly enough in most households. Why? Because when it comes to kids, chores, emotional labour, and the mental to-do list that never ends, mum is still the default parent.

We talk a lot about equality, and yet when you zoom into the average heterosexual household, something doesn’t quite add up. Or rather, it does—just not in women’s favour. Study after study shows that women still do the majority of housework and childcare, even when they work full-time. It’s not just about who does the dishes; it’s about who remembers that the dishes need done in the first place.

Enter the concept of co-responsibility. It’s not just a fancy buzzword—it’s a game-changer. It means both partners taking equal ownership, not just helping out the one that has been unilaterally pointed out as the main carer for the society as a whole. If you’re “helping” your partner with housework, ask yourself: are you a parent or a guest?

Let’s be honest—this stuff isn’t sexy. Nobody fell in love over bin rota spreadsheets. But you know what is sexy? Not having to carry the full weight of a household while also answering 17 WhatsApps from the school PTA. Emotional labour is still labour, and it’s invisible until it burns you out.

So why does this matter? Because mums are tired. Not just “had a long day” tired. Existentially tired. Decision-fatigued. Burnt-out from being project manager, emotional regulator, social coordinator, and laundrette-in-chief.

And kids? They notice. They learn who to go to, who holds the power (spoiler: it's usually mum), and what roles look like in a family. If we want to raise kids who value equality, we have to model it at home. That means normalising phrases like “Ask your dad” and letting him handle the birthday party RSVP, the dinner, or the nappy explosion without being micromanaged or congratulated. Go radical, leave the whatsapp group at school and let him handle it all. Take it easy. 

It’s not about dads doing more for mums, it’s about doing more because it’s theirs to do too.

So next time your kid comes running in with a question, a crisis, or a crumb-covered hand—say it with your whole chest, knowing that is for everyone else as much as it is for your own sake:

Ask. Your. Dad.